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Sunday, February 21, 2010

I Love a Good Bad Movie

Picture this: It's Friday night and everyone else is asleep. I'm all alone in the basement. The lights are off. The only illumination comes from the flickering TV screen. I sit enthralled as bizarre stories unfold before me in glorious black and white as I watch “Creature Features,” “Night Frights,” or “Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.” It doesn't matter to me whether it's the “Werewolf of London,” “It Came from Outer Space” or “Monster on Campus,” it's all good and I love every minute of it. Some nights it's a double feature and I won't get to bed till three in the morning but who cares? I'm thirteen years old and tomorrow's Saturday – No School! So I stay up, sucking in every second of cinematic magic. You have to remember, this is before VCRs, this is before Tivo. If I miss a second of one these jewels I may never get to see it again, ever. Oh, the horror!

As far as cinema goes, those were my formative years. We didn't go out to movies all that often when I was a kid so I had to make due with hacked up, commercial infested science fiction and horror flix from the fifties and sixties. (Fifties films were my favorites, what with the giant bugs and all. Who could resist “The Giant Mantis,” or “Them!”? Great stuff for lonely teenage boys.)

I think there is magic involved for anyone who truly loves movies, especially low budget gems like “The Creature from the Black Lagoon,” and it is this – You must totally and completely suspend your disbelief. If you are unwilling or unable to do this you might as well stick to documentaries.

I assume that if you are reading this then you, my friend, possess this magical ability that all too many people have lost. Maybe the secret to B movies is that the worse the movie, the more disbelief you must suspend.

Maybe that's why my family thinks I'm crazy.

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